Why the feminine doesn’t need to “know”
If you’re anything like me, the need to know can run really deep within you. It offers the false sense of safety to your brain that says if you just know unequivocally, you will be safe. The world also tells us that we need to know things, that things need to make perfect sense to our logical minds, if they’re to be accepted.
Because of this, many of us hold a deeply rooted belief that we need to have all of the black and white answers.
Yet this belief is exhausting, depleting and overwhelming to a woman’s natural feminine design.
It doesn’t allow for the unseen, the unknown, the intangible to have a place in the world- all things that are the realm of the feminine. This makes a woman think that she needs to overwork herself trying to figure everything out. It’s all in the name of safety, the thing all of us feminine beings are really after. If we are to open up, blossom and bloom, it must be in a safe environment first and foremost.
We struggle to place the depth and complexity of our feminine nature into a box, to understand it fully, feeling pressure to describe this nature of yours through the masculine lens- through the mind, through the seen, through knowing. Taking away from the very nature itself when doing so.
So, we begin to push and strive to understand, no longer trusting life to reveal what she needs to know in a way and pace that is organic and divinely timed, not forced.
I see this arise in so many different contexts of a woman’s life.
In dating and relationship- where a woman tries to intellectually figure out where a relationship is going and exactly what the man thinks, before even tuning into how she actually feels. In marriage where she feels the need to know exactly what her husband is thinking or feeling to trust his love for her and to trust him.
In business and creative expression, where a woman doesn’t think she can take action until she has the next 10 steps figured out, and the knowledge that things will definitely “work out.”
In general life and conversation, where she doesn’t feel that her opinion or belief is valid or worthwhile to be shared, unless she can explain it through an intellectual lens or be sure she can be understood by everyone in the room.
It arises in the context of self-development/healing, where a woman believes she needs to figure out the root of all of her feelings and struggles so she can “fix” herself. Often from this, she also puts pressure on herself to fix, heal, solve, save the world.
And it happens in spirituality, where a woman thinks she has to understand the mysteries of life through the intellectual mind, in order to reach closeness with God or freedom. Rather than nurturing her faith and trusting in God, she relentlessly seeks to figure it all herself, falling into endless healing loops and/or performance-based spirituality or religion.
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For a feminine being, there is deep beauty and naturalness in letting go of the need to know.
There is a deep relief that is found from sinking into our femininity and being naturally receptive and open to life.
A surrendered space where we don’t need to know it all ourselves, or solve and figure everything out through our own minds, but instead can rest in the wisdom of our feminine nature and the deeper knowing of God. Leaving vast space for faith to arise in us. The kind of faith that moves mountains and opens up seas and is unknowable to the mind alone. A faith that trusts and relaxes into the God of the universe. The safest place we could ever be.
